10 People Reveal Their Secrets to a Happy Marriage (2024)

It's the age-old question: How do you make a marriage last? And, perhaps most importantly, how do you keep the love? Well, it was a doozy of a topic that a recent Reddit thread, unsurprisingly, was ready to tackle. When user CaptBroadside asked, "Married people of Reddit, aside from communication what makes marriages last?" the heartfelt responses came pouring in. The thread is funny, beautiful and — best of all — actually filled with some solid advice. Reddit, a marriage guru? Who knew?

1. "Intentionally lose the fight." –I_Say_No_Often

2. "My wife tries to win arguments. Being right is not her aim. I argue to be right and sort a point out. I've realized this and will start an argument, get my points across, let her win. Give her time she'll think it over and change what she's doing to adjust whatever we were arguing about. Works most of the time. She still thinks she's always right lol." –Dazz316

3. "When you're in a fight, understand that you're two people on the same team. If you ever posture yourself in a win/lose mindset you've already lost, since you're just hurting yourself and your spouse. When you get married, understand that for a life long relationship to work you will have to change a lot and your spouse will have to change. You need to be secure in who you are or otherwise you become codependent or resentful of who you become since you've given up parts you shouldn't have. And the most important thing in my mind: Go to therapy before things get bad. You can solve a lot of problems before they become fights and save lots of damage to your relationship." –Dumptrucklegend

4. "The knowledge that sometimes love is a decision. .. And that sometimes feelings do not come into it. Despite the crap we are going through (which is transitory) I choose to love you as I promised to 18 years ago." –Lotharmat

5. "People enter relationships, including marriage, to get their emotional needs met. If you want it to last, know what those needs are, and make sure they are being met." –Grumpyold

6. "Total trust is a big part for us. We don't lie or hold anything back from one another. We own up to our mistakes when we make them despite how the other will react. That way we can work together on our problems." –Sarahlina87

7. "Friendship, independence, good communication, and lots of great conversation. After a quarter of a century, and a lot of hardship, my husband and I still prefer each other's company over anyone else's. We are very different people in some ways, but we share a lot of interests, and have interesting conversations almost every day." –Kalysti

8. "Don't do anything because you feel like you're obligated or have to. It leads to anger and resentment. Talk it out so you can both find a solution. Examples: Cleaning every weekend, cooking too often, starting a family right away, etc. Another thing is just do what you can to make your spouse happy. If he's a good guy, he'll do what he can to make YOU happy. You'll be closer and be happier than trying to make yourself a priority. Compromise. I mean it. If you get everything you want in your way, I guarantee you he's not thrilled about it." –RedZeppelin617

9. "Our rings' engraving says: Love, patience, respect." –Appleavocado

10. "Being polite. My husband and I say 'please' and 'thank you' as a matter of course, and it makes things go much more smoothly. Also, we are able to play and goof around with each other. Lots of jokes, lots of silliness. He's my best friend." –Acorngirl

[h/t The Sun